Recovery

Friday 6/17/2011

 

The pain does not go away overnight, but a 14 hour night of sleep definitely helped. I ended up not going to school today in order for myself to get mentally focused and emotionally stable. I would have been a complete wreck at school if I had decided to go.

 

My feeling today is starting to change from sadness to confusion and all-around anger. I feel angry for not seeing all the signs that I can see now. How could I have really let myself get into such a situation and set myself up for heartbreak. I like to think of myself as the sweet, sensitive type. A long distance relationship is no scenario for the sweet guy type. If I have a bad day at school or work, I NEED that person there by my side to make me feel better. I almost made myself independent throughout the relationship, knowing that I could not have those things with her. Obviously, this is not healthy for any relationship.

 

I am trying to keep myself as busy as possible, but it is hard to get my mind off of the situation. It is all I think about, and it hurts tremendously. My heart feels as if an elephant is sitting on my chest, then getting up and punching me in the head. This process repeats throughout the day, constantly. It is an unbearable pain that I really need to disappear. Thankfully, I have my family and friends that are just a phone call away to calm me down and help me relax. The worst part of this whole situation is being stuck in Germany and not being able to be home with my family and friends where I need to be. If anything, I will learn a lot about what I want in a relationship as well as find things out about myself I did not know prior. I am going to have to force myself to learn to cope with situations like this on my own, without anybody by my side. I am confident that I can get past this episode in my life and move onto the success that is right around the corner. I have too much to look forward to when I come home to be held down.

Sadness

Thursday 6/16/2011

 

Today was an extremely tough day for me in my life. My girlfriend ended our relationship because of the distance being too much for her and forcing her to grow apart from me. I know this weekend will not be easy to finish all the work that is needed for the Cisco course with Mr. Nassar.

 

The sadness that has taken over me is like no feeling I have ever felt in my life. With this sadness brings on the anger that is consumed in me. The anger that I did not see the signs, or see this coming at all. With this anger brings back the sadness that I lost the girl I loved because of distance. Long-distance relationships are not easy whatsoever, it truly tests relationships. Especially relationships without a foundation built prior to the distance.

 

I am going to leave my blog to this, it is a rough day for me and I am truly not in the right mindset to be writing about how sad I am and how I am handling it. I just need to crawl into bed and sleep as long as I can.

“To Each His Own”

Wednesday 6/15/2011

 

Wednesdays, Project Days, boring days. This is the typical thought of most students at this school when it comes to every Wednesday at school. This day is completely dedicated to just doing your project work for all of your classes that you are attending. I had already finished the English project, however, I was somewhat behind on the Networking Project. In this project I needed to use Packet Tracer (a virtual networking program used to virtualize networks and show logical topologies) in order to show the logical topology and completely get the network up and running. Of course, being so against networking, I was not too excited when it came to having to design the network. Surprisingly, however, I did a great job and got out entire network running with the assistance of one of the German students in my project group.

 

One concern has raised in my head in regards to the Project Day. I do not see very many of the groups truly working on their project. They seem to all prefer to play video games instead of actually working on their project. There is a big difference between G18 and RMU, at RMU you would not be able to just play video games on days you are supposed to work on your project. That day should be taken full advantage of to get not only that project’s work done, but it is also free time to do work required for other classes. Personally, I take full advantage of these types of days and get all the work that is due that week done so that I do not have to worry about it that night or the night after. But, hey, I suppose we can reference to the phrase “To each his own” on this topic.

Decision

Tuesday 6/14/2011

 

I have decided to make a dramatic change in my life in regards to my education. Prior to coming to Robert Morris University I had some doubts about the degree that they offer. Specifically, RMU offers a Bachelors of Professional Studies in Web Development with only 6 true courses that cover material involving programming and such. The problem with a Bachelor’s in Professional Studies, is that it is more of an applied degree, and not really theoretical or involved. For example, students looking to receive a Bachelor’s of Science in Computer Science will take courses such as Physics, Chemistry, and a few Calculus or related courses. Then, they will get into Computer Science theory and different Engineering and Programming topics. To be honest, this is more of what I am looking for.

 

I decided to apply to the University of West Florida as well as re-apply to the University of Central Florida. Several reasons went into this choice, the first being the education. Both of these schools offer a Bachelor’s of Science in Computer Science. However, I was never a fan of the enormous class sizes of the University of Central Florida, so I will be attending the University of West Florida in Pensacola, FL. The benefit of going to this school is that Eglin AFB (where my internship/job is) is only about 40 miles from the University of West Florida. So, not only could I continue my education at the school, but also the possibility of continuing my internship arises.

 

It is the best decision for me in regards to my future and my education. However, there is still one big advantage to this move and that is to be closer to home. Being away from home for almost a year gave me the realization that I need my family, friends, and such in my life more than I could possibly imagine. Without them, I feel alone and against the world. Even though they will be a 4.5 hour drive away, it still leaves the option for me to be able to travel to Orlando for the weekends and see everyone and forget the troubles of the week.

History of Hamburg

Monday 6/13/2011

Today was a day of history and knowledge, found not only from my fellow students, but the professors as well. I found out a lot of history of the city of Hamburg I had no idea prior.

The city of Hamburg is actually the second-largest city in Germany! Not only that, but the port in Hamburg is the 3rd largest in the European Union. Needless to say, Hamburg inhabitants are more than proud of their city as well as their harbor. We have heard over and over that Hamburg is one of the richest cities in Germany, mainly because of the harbor and the fact that for 600 years or so they did not have to pay taxes! However, not only are they one of the richest cities in Germany, but also in all of Europe. With most wars, there is much destruction, but do you think a state in the U.S. could handle rebuilding a city 4-5 times because of Vikings and World Wars? It is amazing to think the affluence of this city has survived through so many destructions and catastrophic diminishes. Also, just like the traumatic fire of the city of Chicago, Hamburg also had a great fire which spanned much farther than the one in Chicago. So, not only have they suffered damages from wars, but also from free-roaming fires burning some of their most precious buildings and landmarks.

I would think everyone would know about the 2nd World War and the influence of Concentration Camps. Hamburg also has a Concentration Camp named Neuengamme. During the Holocaust and shortly after, more than 55,000 people were killed in this camp.

But what about some more positive events? Hamburg can’t be all about wars and devastation, right? Well, we all know who the Beatles are! The Beatles played many shows and some of their FIRST shows here in Hamburg. You can still go to the Beatles original show location in St. Pauli (the party district here in the city). Something different from the U.S. is the demographics of Hamburg. Hamburg is one of 16 city-states in the country of Germany. Not only that, but Hamburg is turning into one of the largest tourist settlements in Germany! They had an estimated 7.7 million overnight stays in 2008 (According to several articles on the internet). Of course, the Germans did not know this exact number, they wanted me to look it up to tell them!

Interesting to find out all this history of Hamburg, to say the least. It just goes to show you that no matter where you are in the world, there is always history behind it in some way!

AWESOME

Sunday 6/12/2011

Considering that today has been quite a boring say, I am going to focus on the things that were AWESOME throughout the day. Instead of going on and on about the things I have done or what I am looking forward to, I am going to take a look at the things about German culture I feel are AWESOME.

I think that the overall friendliness of the Germans is quite AWESOME. They seem to always greet you with a nice hello and smile, making you feel welcome and that it is okay to be there. Also, German culture is very bread oriented, and overall a very healthy culture. That, to me, is AWESOME. I have even lost a few punds here that I had gained while being in Chicago. Our breakfast includes healthy, warm scrambled eggs, freshly baked breads and croissants, thinly-sliced meats, delicious jams, fresh squeezed orange juice, yogurts, crunchy and tasty granola, and who could go wrong with the AWESOME Nutella. Another thing that is AWESOME about our hotel is the staff. As I said before, the German culture seems to be a very pleasant one, and the staff here always seem to go out of their way to try and help you.

Another AWESOME thing about the Germans, is their beer. I tend to drink German beer while I am in the United States, so having it here where it came from is pretty, well AWESOME! I especially like the German wheat beers, they seem to be a lot thicker here than in the U.S. I am not not talking about Blue Moon or Shocktop, I am talkin about Paulaner and several other famous German beers. German beer is by far more AWESOME than the American beers. Funny thing that happened ast week in school was the students said they could not wait to try American beer. I promised them that the German beer was definitely more AWESOME than the American beer.

Lastly, today was just an AWESOME day in general. I firmly believe each day is what you make it, and if you have the wrong attitude going into the day, it won’t be what you expected. However, if you go into a day thinking it will be AWESOME, and making sure it will be AWESOME, then I am pretty sure your day will be AWESOME!

 

Thoughts

Saturday 6/11/2011

I think we take a lot of things for granted that we do not even realize. Like, for say, the aroma of a home cooked meal from either loved ones or better yet, your mother. Or even the relaxing feeling of knowing you are home, comfortably floating on the clouds of nirvana, no worry in hand. Or the comfort of laying in the softest bed you know next to the love of your life, instead of the yellow wall of the hotel room.

Part of adjusting to another culture is letting those thoughts, those feelings, those needs and those desires go in order to re-establish yourself in a short-lived new life. It says a lot about a person that can easily live in a different culture and country for 6 weeks. Those that can’t adjust tend to sit at home, do nothing, and wait for the end of the study. I feel in order to really understand a culture you must commit to going out there and diving right into everything. That also includes learning the dialect, picking up the important words to communicate with the culture. If you block yourself from learning and using the dialect, there is no point in studying abroad.

My meaning for making that point is, several of the students choose not to learn and use the dialect. To me, what is the point of coming here if you are not interested in German culture and their way of life. It is all part of the experience, and why we are given short crash course in the language. You are expected to at least make some sort of effort, some sort of action to show you really want to try. They benefit because most Germans understand enough English to communicate, but what would have happened if this were not what had happened? We were very lucky to have gone to Germany because of their emphasis on the English language, but I always think, what would they have done if this were not true? Just a thought, no pun intended.